The desire for “taller” has always plagued me and my longer-than-average-legged sisters. I can remember being in elementary school, lying in bed and thinking about the perfect boyfriend. At that time, I decided the one thing that was nonnegotiable for me was that they be 6’2. Why? I knew I was going to be tall (I wanted to be 6’0 more than anything), almost every man in my family was at least that tall, every celebrity couple I saw had a good height gap and, honestly, I thought that anyone shorter just wouldn’t fit with me.
That was elementary school, y’all. How ridiculous is that?
We, as women, are wired to seek out protection and provision and – for some reason – we have decided that if a man isn’t over a certain height, well, he definitely can’t do either of those as well as someone taller. What have we allowed ourselves to believe?
In Ephesians 5:25-28, Paul directs husbands to “love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself”.
Yes, these verses say “husband” and maybe you’re not actively looking or desiring a husband right now, so those words don’t mean much to you. Know that they mean so much. If you find a man who loves you like Christ loves the church, why should height matter? If he continually washes you with the word to make you holy with the desire to one day present you to the Lord without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, does his stature matter? If he is seeking after Christ for your heart, do you turn away because he simply doesn’t meet you’re “height requirements”?
Y’all! Isn’t that the type of man you want, no matter their height?
We believe that if he isn’t as tall as we want, he won’t be able to physically love or protect us as well, but let me tell you – that is so false. A real man will do whatever it takes to protect you in every circumstance, regardless of how tall they are. God created men to protect and I’m pretty dang sure he didn’t put a height stipulation on the effectiveness of protection.
We believe that if we aren’t at least a head shorter than our guy, we aren’t as “cute” of a couple as everyone else. How can we allow the world and other people’s potential views to creep into our minds and critique our relationships?
My husband and I are the exact same height. All 5’10 of me loves all 5’10 of him. When we first started dating at 17, he was about two inches shorter than me and I tried so hard to not let it bug me. By the end of our senior year, he was as tall as me, but it still took me until well into our second year together to stop caring about the fact that he wasn’t 6’2. You see, I began to realize all of his Christlike attributes and truly falling in love with who he was outside of the physical. His height wasn’t going to factor into his ability to wash me with the Word or his effectiveness in loving me like Christ loves the church.
[*side note: physically – straight up, I think he is too freakin’ hot. And the snuggles are k i l l e r.*]
I can now confidently say that if I had to choose between the man who fit that height requirement I had growing up but didn’t love me in the ways Christ defined or the man who falls short of that “requirement” but desires to present me holy and blameless, I would pick the man less likely to meet that requirement. You deserve someone who is worthy of your love and he deserves someone who shows that he is worthy of their love.
This post is not to condemn – after all, this has been a struggle of mine since I was in elementary school. I post this because I want you to be aware and I do not want you to have your eyes trained on one type of man, only to look over the one who sees your worth and desires to love you the way you deserve. I post this because I want to see you with the man who desires to present you holy and blameless before the King, even if he doesn’t fit your physical “requirements”.
Relinquish those physical desires and let the Lord work on your behalf.